For the sauce, mix 5 teaspoons of dark soy sauce, 4 teaspoons of light soy sauce, 2 teaspoons of oyster sauce, and 4 teaspoons of kecap manis.
Warm 500g of fresh wide rice noodles in the microwave until pliable, then gently separate them.
Heat a little of 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil in a wok over high heat and cook 10 small peeled raw shrimp until just cooked; set aside.
Repeat with 1 thinly sliced Chinese sausage and 1 sliced piece of fried fish cake, 2in / 5cm long, then with 2 lightly beaten eggs, cooked into a thin omelette and chopped.
Stir-fry 2½ cups of bean sprouts and 20 garlic chive stems, cut into short lengths, in the remaining oil until just wilted; set aside.
Melt 2 tablespoons of lard in the wok. Add 2 minced garlic cloves and the noodles and toss until heated through.
Return everything to the wok, add the sauce, and toss gently until the noodles are evenly coated.
